Writing

On hypomania, two years later

About two years ago, I went through a bout of bipolar disorder hypomania.

This was less than a full-blown manic episode – indeed, hypo is defined as ‘under’ or ‘slightly’ – and that nicely sums up how it felt … kind of. I went through a feeling of being on top of the world, coming up with all kinds of writing projects along the way. Some of those projects have seen fruition, while others were somewhat disjointed and, once I exited my hypomanic state, they were unworkable.

This state, while it was some cause for alarm for my family and friends, was a lot more desirable compared to being in a full-blown episode. More often than not, the full-blown episodes I have gone through in the past resulted in a hospital stay. I appreciate the care I have received on the hospital front for those episodes – at Kitchener’s Grand River Hospital and Woodstock Hospital, both in Ontario (my last such stay was 15 years ago). Even though I’m thankful for the care I received, those episodes will hopefully be a thing of my past.

Yes, the full-blown variety of episodes result, ultimately, in a detachment from reality. The hypomanic version keeps me in control, although at an accelerated rate (that’s not to say I want to be hypomanic, to be sure).

The biggest thing I remember about my last bout of hypomania was being the doorman for charitable organization Operation Sharing’s Christmas Day Event of 2018. I greeted everyone with gusto – and then some. It was an invigorating day, to say the least, and I was over the top for it.

Good memories, to be sure. But if I had to do it over again, I’d prefer to be on the straight and narrow route rather than hypomanic.

A couple of years back, I published a list of tips or things to keep an eye on for people with bipolar disorder who want to deal with an episode. I feel this anniversary warrants publishing them again. Here they are:

  • Sleep (as much as possible)
  • Carry on with meds
  • Exercise
  • Nutrition
  • Don’t get too overworked with other people’s problems
  • Don’t go over the top on social media
  • Keep lines of communication open with friends and family
  • Don’t do pot
  • Keep lid on alcohol and coffee
  • Drink plenty of water

Reflecting on time

At this time of year, I find myself reflecting on time itself. Past, present, and future.

Today I am thinking of all three and am wondering what I would do if I could redo my life from a certain point. If I were to restart things at Grade 3 – when I met one of my favourite teachers, Mr. Wiens – would the trajectory of my life have gone a different path? Knowing the mistakes I made along the way, could I correct things? Would they be better or worse as a result?

Later, in my high school years, would I have better scholastic discipline? Would my grades be better, and could I have gone to university earlier? Would I have asked out one of the high school girls I had a crush on, but didn’t have the nerve to approach?

And when my friend Larry died by suicide when I was 20, would I go into such a tailspin again when my bipolar disorder first surfaced? Indeed, would I choose to make friends with him in high school in the first place, knowing his fate?

Would I take the same jobs I had in the past? For example, the grocery store job I took as a teenager led me to some lifelong friendships, including one with my best man. Would I miss meeting those people if I didn’t take the job? Who else would I have met instead?

Another job I turned down, just because I had accepted an editor’s position in Dorchester, Ontario the day before, was as a wire editor in northern Ontario. Where would my writing career be today if I had taken the wire editor job instead?

If I had made changes along the way, I might not have met my beloved wife, Marilyn. The thought of her not being in my life breaks my heart – and the fact we are married gladdens my heart to no end.

So, if I were given the chance, I’d keep things the same. All I can do is learn from the past and make the future trajectory of my life the best it can be.

Writers’ Café/ Expressive Arts links with homeless shelter

An expanded Operation Sharing program aimed at boosting budding writers and other artists is launching a satellite initiative at the Inn homeless shelter.

The Writers’ Café/Expressive Arts satellite will begin at the shelter, operating out of Old St. Paul’s Anglican Church in Woodstock, Ontario, on the evening of Friday, June 12. The program will run every second Friday from there on in.

“Many of the existing programs for homeless people focus on such things as rehab,” said Eric Schmiedl, coordinator of the expanded program. “This program aims to say to these people that your ideas, your creative thoughts, matter. You matter.”

The program had been running at the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) at 522 Peel St. in Woodstock previously but was put on low rev when the CMHA suspended programs due to the COVID-19 pandemic. It is hoped the program will resume at the association building at some point in the future, but will continue at the Inn (which serves all of Oxford County) regardless.

“Of course, we will have to adhere to safe practices surrounding the coronavirus. But the Inn already does that,” Schmiedl said.

The Writers’ Café/Expressive Arts program focuses on various aspects related to writing and other art, including the following:

  • Creative writing (this could include short stories, poems, songs or more)
  • Drawings of various sorts
  • Assistance with résumé writing
  • Writing stories, poems and other pieces, as well as drawing pictures, for publication in Operation Sharing’s newsletter, Helping in Unity

The program will be open to any guests of the shelter.

My beloved wife’s support

The support helps… God, does it ever.

First and foremost, my wife Marilyn has been truly supportive of me as I embark on yet another writing endeavour – my science fiction/fantasy novel Realities, which I am planning to launch with gusto on June 15 with a noon to 2 p.m. book signing at Woodstock, Ontario’s Merrifield Book Shop (I’ve got other promotions in the works as we speak as well). But it wouldn’t mean beans without Marilyn’s love and backing.

You see, this extends far beyond just a novel (which is my third book, following the publication of Don Quixote Versus the Devil and South Korean Mania, which were both memoirs taking a true look at my bipolar disorder misadventures over the years). This is about our lives together.

June 7 marks our fifth marriage anniversary and over the past few years I’ve cobbled together part-time work (although you can argue that book writing is, at times, full-time work – and then some). I’ve tried off and on to get a regular full-time gig without success so far.

Enter Marilyn. She took me aside the other day to say that, perhaps, I should treat book writing as my full-time vocation (with some part-time and occasional gigs in the background). God love her, I needed to hear that.

Some people view writing as nothing more than a hobby. But I went to college and university to learn my craft, and was employed for close to two decades as a full-time news writer and editor. These things should lend credibility to this craft called writing.

Perhaps some people don’t believe in what I do. But Marilyn does. And that is more than enough for me.